I love you, My Dear....

It is every girl’s dream that one day she will find her prince charming and plan her perfect wedding day. I sit here in the midst of lists upon lists of things to still do in these last 30 days, all the while my heart leaps for joy at the precious time I spend with my soon-to-be husband. I would love to say that ever since December 4, 2011, everything has gone smoothly and everyday has been met with pure joy and happiness. However, God’s plan for everyday that I have experienced has, and always has been, planned before my creation and for His Glory.

 

I have learned that as I prepare for marriage, my future husband will not always make me happy(and our relationship for that matter), but he will help me to become more holy. That is what marriage is for: to make you more like Christ. Marriage places a mirror in front of you 24 hours and day, 7 days a week to show you every insecurity, fear, rude attitude, unloving act, and selfish ambition. It is through this mirror that I begin to see the real me and am able to look to Jesus to become more like Him. I see the real picture of what Christ calls me to be as a soon-to-be wife as well as the weight that it will place on my husband to be the spiritual leader of our family.

 

²¹ And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ²⁴ As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. ²⁷ He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ²⁸ In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ²⁹ No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ³⁰ And we are members of his body.

³¹ As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

Ephesians 5:21-31

In everything I do, I must submit to my husband just as I do to the Lord. I admit that I still have the hardest time submitting to Him in all areas of my life. I believe that it is a daily process and we will never be able to completely submit to our Lord Jesus until the day we meet Him face to face. Through this season in my life, God has brought me to brokenness but also healing. He has brought me face to face with my worst fears, yet He comforted me and reminded me of His precious promises. He has shown me my sin yet continues to show me His great mercy and grace. He has brought me down to my knees, still a mess of a girl, and He has brought me to my feet with such praise and adoration for who He is. He has asked me to love people that are hard to love and forgive those who have done wrong to me and to those I love. He has told me over and over that my engagement and marriage to Bobby should be a picture of Christ’s love for His Church: the story of redemption that will one day be brought to our families. He reminded me to never give up on praying and staying faithful to the things He has placed on my heart. The enemy planted lies within me and I had to let the Lord do the battle for me. I learned I cannot hide my face from my loving Father because He calls me beautiful. And most importantly, I have learned there is no shame since I have been redeemed by the precious blood of the Lamb.

Even though I will have to work hard every day not only to submit to my King, but also to my husband, I could not think of a better place I would rather be than in the safety and security of my God and the man that God has made for me on this earth. Bobby is the man more than my greatest dreams and I am so thankful God taught me to wait for the one He had for me. I am overwhelmed by much joy, gratitude, love, and anticipation for our wedding day and our future. I pray for a wedding day that honors and glorifies our King and captures our love for Him and each other. I cannot wait to marry you, Robert Daniel. I love you for good.

Thankful

It is two days before Thanksgiving and I sit here thinking back on the many things God has done in and through me since this past summer. I am so thankful for so many new friends that have come into my life and the seasoned friends that I have grown closer with. I am thankful for my Savior, my family, my Second family, my two small groups, my amazing boyfriend, and this life that I have here on earth to share His love. God has taken me on a great journey through many joys as well as hardships. I have learned so much more about the character of my Heavenly Father and His Word. I have also learned so much more about myself and the purposes that He has for me.

Since May, I have been on a roller coaster ride and here are some of the many things that God placed in my path….. 

·         I started attending the “Rooted” Women’s small group on Thursday nights led by Kim Cox. For so long I had been pouring into the women of my small group and was missing out on being poured into. Kim and the ladies in this group have helped me dig into His Word and grow ever so closer to Him. I have been challenged in many ways to step even further out of my comfort zone.

·         My mind at times has literally been a battle field. As I grow closer to Him, the enemy has fed me so many lies about myself and different situations. When I am rooted in His truth, I know that I am a conqueror.

·         Bobby and I started asking each other deeper questions to get to know each other better. We started having Wednesday evening chats before my small group.

·         God made the sun stand still for Joshua and I asked God to do the same for me in my life.

·         I was a leader at Beach Retreat for High School and Junior High. It was great to be back at the beach and God sure had a plan to grow me. I was faced with many challenges and learned that if I am not focused on Him, I can do nothing. I need His strength for everything I do and cannot rely on my own or I will fail.

·         I helped lead a VBS class with Bobby. We had some fun and crazy 4^th graders.

·         I taught the Chinese Exchange Students about American culture, our holidays, and about the love of Jesus. I relied on Him to give me the words to speak, guidance, focus, and confidence.

·         I applied for numerous jobs for the fall and gave God the reins of my job situation. I was overcome by an amazing peace that He is waiting to give me the exact job that is right for me, no matter how long I have to wait.

·         I learned that I have a true inheritance in Christ. He did not let me be born on this earth to let me walk in the wilderness forever. I have to be willing to follow Him blindly and lose more of myself to gain more of Him.

·         Bobby and I started taking dance lessons and have learned more about our relationship with each other through dancing. We learned a thing or two about each other while reading “For Women Only” and “For Men Only” also.(I highly recommend everyone read BOTH of these books.)

·         Somewhere in the midst of our time together, I fell in love with an amazing Godly man that makes me want to be an even stronger follower of Christ. J

·         I have strengthened my relationships with my sisters in Christ and have focused more on praying for them individually. I have come to love being face down on the floor praying to My Father for so many others.

·         I have seen that as I go deeper in His Word, I grow in His character; I see He is even more holy, majestic, and powerful, and I want to be closer to Him.

·         I have attended a handful of weddings, bringing together Godly people and I pray for Him to truly bless them as a unified team for God. In the joy, I have also had to see close friends move away. (So thankful for amazing technology!)

·         I was asked to long term sub for elementary PE and I start in two weeks.

Throughout this season in my life and continuing on this journey, my love is for Christ, my desire is to experience Him more, and my passion is to serve Him and His people.

Passion

In the Webster’s Dictionary passion is defined as “an emotion;” “an intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction;” “an ardent affection;” “a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept.” 

 

My deepest passion is Jesus Christ and carrying His name out in this world every day of my life. I have been convicted, broken, strengthened, and my heart has been captivated and again overflows with His unimaginable love.

 

My life changed forever over a short weekend, but I pray that what I experienced will live on in my heart till I am face to face with My Creator. The mission of Passion Conferences is to carry on the name of Jesus wherever life takes you. In Isaiah 28:6 it says “Yes, Lord, walking in the way of Your laws, we wait for You; Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.” What a way to declare what this life is all about. We wait for Him and we desire Him with our whole hearts.

I came into the weekend alive in Christ, but I was being bogged down by so many things that my passion for Him had dwindled. I desperately needed His Spirit to take me over, take away some fears and doubts that began to creep in again, and a desire to be more active in my pursuit of Him. I was ready for Him to do something in my heart, but I didn’t expect the magnitude of what He would do. Here is a glimpse of what He taught and stirred in me.

Friday Night- Louie Giglio:

Phil 1:1 We are servants of Christ Jesus, but many times we serve so many other things instead of Jesus. In order to be His servant, we must not just know about Jesus, but we must truly know Him and have an encounter with Him.
Acts 9:4 God spoke directly to Saul. Every time we open the Bible, God wants to speak directly to us. We have to allow Him to speak to our heart and not get in the way of His voice.
Verse 8 Saul had such an eye opening encounter with God that he needed others to lead him around. We should live fully expecting such encounters from Him.
Phil 1:21 Every day I live, everyone around me gets more Jesus. The day I die will be the best day of my life because I get Jesus for eternity.

Saturday Morning Community Group:

Phil 2:3-11 As Christians, we need to be focused and united in Him.
In verses 6-8, we see how Christ first had to come down to the level of a servant, made Himself nothing and in human likeness, and was humble and obedient even while taking on a criminals death.
In verses 9-11, we see how God exalts His Son to the highest place where everyone on earth and in heaven proclaims that He is Lord.
We must walk in humility in order to make His name famous. We must submit to His Lordship in all aspects of our lives.

Saturday Morning- Francis Chan:

Eph 3:16-19 People can tell us about Jesus and set us up to have a relationship with Him, but it is all on you to let it happen No one can make you fall in love with someone else. You can’t just know about Jesus, but you have to fall in love with the person, Jesus!
Phil 1:27-28 Live in a manner worthy of The Gospel. Know the Bible and stand firm in His teachings. Does our life add up to, or equal, the weight of The Gospel? Do we live in a way that reflects The Bible?

Saturday Afternoon- Louie Giglio:

“I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!”
We are part of a story taking Jesus to the whole world.
Heb 13:15-16 Worship is more than the songs we sing, Worship is a lifestyle. Worship through giving and sharing Christ with the world…… our neighborhood, our city, our state, our country, our continent, our hemisphere, our world.

Saturday Night- John Piper:

Where does our joy come from? Do we make much of God or make much of ourselves? God’s joy should be at the very bottom of what everything springs from. When we are saved, the Holy Spirit kills our bottom joy and replaces it with God’s joy.

Saturday Night Community Group:

Ps 16:11 God is most satisfying above anyone or anything else. Believe it!
Our day should be so filled with God that we have to make time for other things.

Sunday Morning Community Group:

Throughout history, there are many things or marks that have distinguished us as Christians
Phil 2:1-2 Our most important distinguishing mark is unity.
We are united together in love. We must love one another. John 13:34
How do we create unity? Phil 2:3-4 Do not be selfish. Do not serve to promote yourself. Do not have conceit- empty glory. Look out for other peoples’ needs.
Love each other before you know each other.
V.12-16 We must work out our salvation through fear and trembling because He is working in us. He will give us the desires and He will let us shine like the stars without complaining! Hold fast to the word of life.
Harden our resolve to fight sin and be gentler on ourselves when we fail.

Sunday Morning- Louie Giglio:
Acts 9:10 God called Ananias by name to go meet Saul. Our name could be written down in red in the Bible because God has called us by name.
We are anxious for other people to speak our name but the Son of God has already spoken my name.
Ananias responds with “Here I am, Lord.” He doesn’t say “who is this” or “who are you talking to.” He knew that the Lord was speaking to him and he answered “YES” to Him.
Isaiah 26:8 We need to live in a way that we say “YES” to Him every day. I want to be a part of a generation that builds on the name of Jesus. We have building potential.
Acts 9:15 He was God’s chosen instrument to carry His name. “I am a restorer.” God has spoken my name and chosen me to be an instrument to carry His name! Every bit of Hell is against His name. We are born name carriers and are surrounded by them daily.
What names do I carry into the world? I first and foremost want to carry the name of JESUS!

My Prayer:
I will live radically for You. Nothing in this world can stop me from pursuing You and for You to use me as Your name carrier. You are my Savior, Love, Friend, the One I follow, my everything! I want to fall in love with You all over again and continue falling in love with You every day of my life. I submit to Your Lordship in all areas of my life especially my relationships. I will pour more into each of my relationships building stronger fellowship through encouragement and prayer. My life will be lived worthy of The Gospel. I will live boldly and with intensity proclaiming Your name. My worship will be my whole lifestyle. I will travel the world to share Your love. You are the joy that everything in this life springs from. I live to glorify You and only You. I will grow in Your character and wisdom. I will fear nothing. I will earnestly seek You and study Your Word. I will say “Yes, Lord” whenever You call my name. I will carry Your name. In Jesus name, amen!

This Little Light of Mine.....

I'm gonna let it shine..... in this world where He has me. Today I was recommended for my teaching certification! Tears of JOY streaming down my face, I fell to my knees praising my Father in Heaven and sang this song from my heart. I know I am exactly where He wants me. After a year and a half long road of ups and downs, I am overcome by the faithfullness of my Father. Until the day He calls me home, I am going to let my light shine in my classroom, bringing the joy of learning to my students, inspiring them, encouraging them and loving them with everything I have. With a little bit of faith, God has taken me to a place far beyond my dreams!

Captured

I'm captured by a love so strong that my heart is completely abandoned to Jesus. Last night's Hillsong United Aftermath concert renewed my heart for Him.  This life in not perfect and we come to Him as broken people. BUT, there is nothing that He cannot do to overcome whatever we go through in life. In my broken mess two years ago, I came to Him with an ounce of faith and He made it absolutely beautiful! I do not know where life will take me, but following Jesus is the sure way to the most beautiful future.

I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world. John 16:33

In our troubles and tears, He is our hope. In our failure and fear, He is our love. In our heartache and pain, He is our healer. In our burdens and shame, He is our freedom. All because He has overcome!

Worship

What is worship? Many people believe it is just a gathering together on Sunday morning to sing songs to God, but I have discovered that it is truly more than that. Worship is what we give our hearts away to. Worship is what we love, what we can’t live without, the names we carry with us. I have been on quite a journey since last summer in pursuit of My King. My heart has fallen more in love with Him, but not without some bumps along the way. Many stemming from things that I have worshipped and given my heart away to instead of Jesus.

I gave my heart away to fear, lies from my past, and feelings of not being worthy enough. His love took a hold of me and over a week in July I was overcome by His healing. I truly accepted it, believed it and let Him heal my wounds. I gave my heart away to busyness and a lack of motivation for the purposes He has given me in this life. I completed my student teaching not without being attacked by the enemy at every angle. At a time where I had no idea what was going on, I sought Him with everything I had. I let go of my pride, asking Him to fight for me because I couldn’t. He had to be my complete strength and He came through in an even greater way.

I gave my heart away to my own selfish desires and let sin entangle me. I gave my heart away to titles, wanting control, ministry, and a lack of focus. I have worshipped books, dreams of my future, Christian musicians, and friendships. The list is really endless. Throughout this season in my life, God has shown me that He is the only one to give my heart away to. He is the only one I should worship. His name is the only name I should carry into this world.

In a place where we worship friends, celebrities, clothes, music, movies, conferences, places, relationships, sin, material things, our own desires, and love, we forget who we should be worshipping with our life, and that is Jesus. We worship not only through songs, but by the way we live our lives, our actions, our words, and what we do behind closed doors.

God has placed a piece of scripture on my heart over these last several months and it has changed my perception on what I give my heart away to: JESUS! My prayer is for an undivided heart, and heart that longs for Him alone, and heart that worships Him and nothing of this world. So, what are you giving your heart away to? What or who are you worshipping? Is it Jesus or something or someone else?

Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth. Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you. Psalm 86:11 NLT

Hillsong - Beautiful Exchange

Honduras: Day 3 and 4

It is definitely the rainy season in Honduras. We are on our way to the Lily of the Valley Church in La Ceiba on our bus and the rain and humidity are intense. I am not sure how I am going to get through the day because I already feel sick to my stomach. As much as I want to blame it on the weather, I am a little nervous of what our day will bring.


We arrive at the church and are met by members of the church and many children. It is a simple but beautifully decorated building with a small stage and several small rooms for the children. More children join us and we begin singing songs and playing games with them. The joy on their faces lights up my heart and I begin to start feeling better. The morning continues as we do a program for them full of mimes, stories, music, and crafts.

It was so cute to watch the young children decorate crosses made out of Popsicle sticks. Many of them end up taking the sticks apart and just coloring all over. They didn’t care about the craft; they were excited that we came to spend time with them. It reminded me that it is not about the “end product” but it is truly about the journey. As we go through life, we are continually growing in Christ and it is the journey that He takes us on as we follow Him every day that really matters.



After having lunch at the nicest Pizza Hut I have ever been in (and I’m really serious) and watching the US play in the World Cup, we set up for the afternoon at a park in downtown La Ceiba. Several of us walk around the park handing out tickets to people and telling them we will be giving out free prizes where the music is playing. At first, many are taken aback that we would actually give away anything free, but many join us to see what all is going on.


It is truly powerful to see people stand up and give their lives over to Christ. The mimes are my favorite part because the music and imagery truly transcend all language barriers.

Today Cassie, Tata, and I get to visit with the church in La Masica for Sunday services. The children are so happy and excited to see us back and I am completely filled with joy walking into the church. It is so nice to see many familiar faces and even a few new ones. As we begin service they read from Psalm 121.

I look up to the mountains- does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.

As I listen to this verse, standing in a little church with no air conditioning, in the middle of summer, in a country struggling with violence, drugs, and severe poverty, God places on my heart that He is always watching and protecting me. I have no reason to fear anything no matter where I am.

Later in the service we take the kids for a Bible lesson, songs, games, and crafts. Every now and then I find myself just watching them as they sing as loud as they can and as they memorize a Bible verse. Words cannot describe the passion and love they share. We begin to take pictures with them and they absolutely love to see themselves on our cameras. They are fascinated by it and enjoy taking over hundred pictures of all of us.

We enjoy an authentic Honduran lunch at an outside restaurant with Pastor Roger and then head out to make home visits with families in the community. We visited many people coming from many different backgrounds and situations and invited them to our evening service. One older woman we sat with had severe foot problems which made it very hard for her to walk. She talked with us about her struggles and her children that are living in America. God really used us to talk with her because she made it to church that night.


The worship leaders in the church are two young Godly men that have a real passion for people and it is truly contagious. They lead us in several Spanish songs. Without even knowing the words they were saying, I knew exactly what God was teaching me because His presence was all around me. My heart was completely consumed by everything He is and I was reminded that love is our universal language. I have never felt so close to Him and was overtaken by an amazing peace and security.


Before the night was over, Tata sang a rap tune for the congregation and I was able to speak through an interpreter with the pastors’ daughter, Ester. She is a beautiful young lady inside and out with a heart for God. It is her dream to be able to learn English, visit England and meet a princess. I told her my dad is from England and that I have visited the country twice. We were so thrilled to be able to share this connection with each other and just began to cry.

This was by far the hardest day, physically and mentally. However, God used it and we had the most incredible experience with the people of La Masica. Leaving that night, we knew we would probably never see them again here on earth, but we knew that one day we will see them all in heaven.

Honduras: Day 1 and 2

I’ve been blessed with many opportunities to travel to several different countries in my life so far, but this time it was going to be quite a different experience. I found myself on a plane heading to Honduras for my first mission trip, eager yet nervous, not knowing what to anticipate. Our team prepared for many weeks to get to this point. We met to rehearse songs, mimes, and to prepare our plans for the work we would be doing. We covered everything we could but with Him in control, you never know what is going to happen. In the week and a half before leaving, I seemed to go through a whirl-wind of emotions from arising situations that overwhelmed me. I double and triple checked my material packing list, but it wasn’t as easy to put a check mark next to my heart and mind being all in order.


After an early morning getting to the airport, we board the plane and I eagerly try to learn as much Spanish as I can from a team member on our fairly short flight to the international airport in San Pedro Sulu. The pilot welcomes us to Honduras as my heart starts to beat rapidly and my mind goes racing 100 miles an hour. We had our first dose of reality in the airport going through the customs and immigration lines, followed by making it safely onto our bus that would take us to La Ceiba. The thought that ran through my mind was “we are definitely not in Kansas anymore.”

We were graciously welcomed by our new friends that would be with us for the week and we started our journey to La Ceiba. Almost instantly, I bubbled with excitement and peace came over me. The scenery, the quietness, the wind blowing through my hair came together as I met with my Father on what would be just the start of an incredible journey. I was comforted by the hospitality of the local pastors we would be working with and the site of an air conditioner in our hotel room. I quickly fell peacefully asleep meditating on 1 Timothy 2:1-6:

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peacefully and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth. For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity - the man Christ Jesus. He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. This is the message God gave the world at just the right time.

It was our first full day in Honduras, and we traveled to a small town called La Masica. Upon arrival, we step into the church we will be working with for the day and take a deep breath. The building is made up of 4 concrete walls with many openings that serve as windows with lace coverings as curtains. There are simple wooden pews painted teal and many overhead fans that help to cut through the heat and humidity. We are welcomed by a warmth of hospitality from the leaders of the church and then make our way to a local park.

We are greeted by many young children that are eager to see us. We set up under a large gazebo and begin to sing Spanish children’s songs, do a puppet show, mimes, share the Gospel, and watch as many children accept Christ for the first time. I am filled with joy interacting and playing games with these children and even though we speak different languages, love shows through much brighter.

The town is abuzz with talk about the World Cup because Honduras is playing today. We travel to a local diner for an authentic Honduras lunch while proudly watching the game. As afternoon approaches, we are back at the park with even more children this time. Many have returned and brought friends along with them. This time they are even more eager to sing along with all our songs and hang on everything we say and do. They crowd around our bus as we leave for some we will not see again.


Evening service at the church for me was an experience that cannot be put completely into words. Two different cultures coming together to worship and share God’s word was a humbling and exhilarating experience. I was reminded that this life is not about what He can do for us, but who we should become to glorify Him. I have begun to see the first glimpses of God changing my heart.

When the Enemy Attacks

Summer is officially here and whether I think I am ready or not, I am about to embark on a journey that God has been preparing me for. Over the past month and a half I have kept busy substitute teaching, leading my small group, serving on leadership in our ministry, and preparing my heart and mind for a mission trip Honduras and Beach Retreat. I have experienced some amazing joy, as well as several struggles, big and small.



The enemy prowls and attacks right at times when God is working the most in my life. The enemy tries to keep me from achieving what God has for me and brings me down with fear and doubt. The enemy brings up things from my past that continue to haunt me and make me feel insecure in myself and in my relationship with Him.


I have been attacked time and time again. I was stricken with fear and doubt over a past relationship that I never should have been in. I was told I would never be good enough and I started to believe it again. I spent days feeling like I didn’t belong, like no one loved me, like I was all alone again. I knew God was there with me, but the enemy didn’t want to let me go.

The Lord is my light and my salvation so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. The one thing I ask of the Lord, the thing I seek most, is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of job, singing and praising the Lord with music.

Psalm 27:1-7

God reached out His hand and pulled me out. He sent me the support of friends that lifted me up, encouraged me, and reminded me of what He has done in my life and how He is using me in ministry. My joy could not be taken away from the attack of the enemy. I had to trust that my God was bigger than my past and all my fears and insecurities. I had to close the door, be still, and let God fight for me (Ex 14:14).


This summer God has an amazing mission for me that has been planned since He created the world. He appointed me for great things. This summer I will be stretched in insurmountable ways and taken out of my comfort zone so that the only one I can rely on is Him. I know that God will change lives during this time, but I can’t even begin to fathom how He will change my life this summer.

My Confidence Is Not My Own

But thank God! He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God…..Are we beginning to praise ourselves again? Are we like others, who need to bring you letters of recommendation, or who ask you to write such letters on their behalf? Surely not! The only letter of recommendation we need is you yourselves. Your lives are a letter written in our hearts; everyone can read it and recognize our good work among you. Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts. We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit. The old written covenant ends in death; but under the new covenant, the Spirit gives life.
2 Corinthians 2:14-15, 3:1-6

Confidence is a funny thing…. Many women struggle with being confident in themselves, myself included. It is a daily challenge for women everywhere to know that we are loved, valued, and beautiful just the way God made us. We have self-doubt and insecurities, but have to know wholeheartedly that our confidence comes from Christ alone.


In the last two months, God has literally taken my life and stretched it far beyond what I thought would ever be possible. He has placed me in situations that are completely uncomfortable. Again, in these times I have to remind myself that God doesn’t call us to be comfortable.


God has called me to begin leading a women’s small group which caught me way off guard. It has been such a blessing though and I am learning and growing more and more each week. But it didn’t just stop there. At the end of June I will be going on my very first mission trip….Honduras to be exact. God didn’t just say go to San Antonio and make my name know, but He said go to a foreign country in Latin America and show them the love of Christ. My first thoughts were “who am I to do this” and “why me.” I questioned my ability to minister to others with just my beginning knowledge of the Bible and I felt nowhere near confident to take on such an opportunity. However I find myself preparing for a journey far beyond my imagination, to a place far away, where most people speak a language I don’t know at all.

God gave me the confidence and courage from scripture, but He also gave me friends to encourage me, build me up, and show me that I was made to bring others to Him. I was reminded that it is by the spirit that I have full confidence and ability to share Christ with others. I am also fully qualified because I am a child of God and Christ is written on my heart. The thought of having to get up in front of a group of people and give my testimony, act out a skit, or lead a devotional at a moment’s notice scares me beyond belief, but I know now that it will be a time where I have no choice but to put my complete faith and trust in Him to speak through me.

Just recently I was challenged to think of Philippians 4:13 in a different way. Instead of just thinking “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” think of it as “I can do nothing without Christ who strengthens me.” I have to rely solely on Him in everything I do, now more than ever. I have completely seen Him in a new light and am so excited to see how He will use me this summer in Honduras. I might not be able to see the full results of my work there, but I know that God has chosen me for a specific reason to minister to people there that no one else can minister to. I’m looking forward to my week-long experience and what God will teach me while I am there.

Breaking Free

I have always been more on the quite side. A little shy and slow to show my true self. I’m reminded of situations in life where people have disappointed me, left me, or said hurtful things and my fears overwhelm me. I feel insecure of my friendships, opening up to people and showing my true self. But God is always faithful and is pushing me in new directions and breaking down the walls I have built up for myself.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

1 Corinthians 13:12

He knows me completely: all my fears, all my failures, all my desires, everything I have done, and everything I will do. He gives me piece of mind and is pushing me to break free of my comfort zone. In the past, I have been afraid to truly opening up to the people He has placed in my life, letting people help me, and sharing my triumphs and struggles with others. I like to be a people pleaser, making sure I do nothing wrong and never wanting to let people down. I am overcoming and realizing I can’t do it alone. I can’t do it without God, but more importantly I can’t do it without the support of my sisters and brothers in Christ.

I truly believe that God has placed certain people in my life that will mentor me, grow me, push me, challenge me, and love me just for who I am. It took me awhile to figure it out, but now I see what I was missing. I feel the weight lifted off that I have been carrying around and I feel free to just be me.

“God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.”

Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Over the last few weeks I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone, been placed in situations that challenge me, and been given opportunities that I have previously thought were beyond my capabilities. I literally sat in my car last week before making a bold move, praying “Lord, You commanded me to be strong and courageous. Don’t let me be afraid! You are with me now and always!” He delivered and I broke down a barrier.

Every day I see my spiritual gift of teaching becoming stronger and stronger. People see my talent for working with children and teaching and it truly amazes me how they see that in me. I am reminded that each and every person is given a different gift and we have to come together to make a complete body of Christ. With one person missing, we cannot excel in building up the church for what God has planned.

I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life. People that will push me, challenge me, grow me, walk alongside me, and encourage me. With God all things are possible, but He works in marvelous ways through our friendships and fellowship with others. I am free to be me, free of my fears, free of my insecurities.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subjected again to a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

I am not ashamed!!!!

Spiritual Running

Since I was in elementary school, I have always hated running. I remember so vividly our PE teacher, Mrs. Meyer saying “Today we will be running outside and you have to get your 5 Popsicle sticks.” We would have to run around a very large grass area right outside our school and each time we went around we would pick up a Popsicle stick to show how many laps we had completed. I dreaded these days because I was a horrible runner. In junior high, it was even worse. Now we had a large park to run around 5 times, although we didn’t have to pick up the Popsicle sticks anymore. Those 5 laps seemed so daunting, so miserable, and I had no way out of it.

Some might say I have a fear of running and would be shocked to know that I am running in the 5K Rodeo Run this Saturday. What started out as just wanting to work out more somehow became a passion and resolution for me to run a 5K this year. So I’ve been on the hunt, in pursuit of something that I have never done, but in the midst of it all I found out it’s not me that is really running. It’s not me that is hitting the pavement. It’s not me running the distance to say I finished a 5K.

This past week on my way to the gym to run, I was given a challenge to memorize 1 Cor 9:24-27 from a friend. I knew right away that God had placed this on my heart to do and I agreed to the challenge not even knowing what the verse said. That morning I ran but I had no purpose and no drive for what I was running for. All I wanted to do was just be able to finish it.

Immediately when I got home I opened my Bible to 1 Cor 9:24-27 and stopped dead in my tracks…..

“Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win. All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”

I felt God just pick me up and start to shake me, saying “Hello, run after me! You can do anything with me! Trust me! Grow with me!” I was instantly taken aback and knew it had nothing to do with running the distance or for a time. It’s all about running after Him and building endurance. I need to be constantly pursuing Him, communicating with Him, and growing in Him. I need to be more disciplined in my everyday life to continue in my growth and in this journey set out before me.

Since then, every day I run is a special time just between me and God. He gives me strength, endurance and courage and I continually run to seek Him in everything I do. I run with a new purpose for His eternal prize before someone or something can take it away from me.

"Awakening" - Chris Tomlin - Passion 2010

This is the most powerful song I have ever heard. When I first heard it I cried out to my Father to awaken my soul! For the last few weeks, God has grabbed a hold of my heart in a new way and my heart aches for His will to be done in my life. I have been meditating over Psalm 63:3 which says "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you." Many people go through their Christian walks thinking they know God, but never truly experience an authentic relationship with Him and understand His complete and unconditional love. What are you waiting for? He has so much more planned for you if you just give your WHOLE life over to Him and seek an everlasting relationship with Him.

1 John 1:1-4 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.

Time is a Gift from God

There are 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, and 52 weeks in a year. It might seem like a long time, but in reality it goes by in a flash. Today especially, we consume our lives with so many activities and obligations that can sometimes take over our lives. It is important to take a step back and question whether our time is being used in the best way.

We all have goals that we set out to achieve each day, but many times they don't get accomplished. It is hard to prioritize everything for our day between our work, school, church and social activies, quiet times and bible reading, and our own personal down time. Do you seem to start something but then get distracted by something else? Do you find yourself being consumed by all the technology we have today? Everyone is guility of this at sometime or another and some more than others. The key is to remember that our time on this earth is precious, God-given and we must find a place of balance.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don't follow the traditions they received from us. For you know that you ought to imitate us. We were not idle when we were with you. We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so we would not be a burden to any of you. We certainly had the right to ask you to feed us, but we wanted to give you an example to follow. Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: "Those unwilling to work will not get to eat."

2 Thessalonians 3:6-10

The Bible says explicitily to not live idle lives and to work hard day and night. We cannot live out a life of stress or unambition. We have to actively seek the Lord in finding a happy medium in all of our activites. We have many obligations to our work, school, families, churches, and ourselves. We simply cannot work 60 hours in a week nor can we spend that same 60 hours volunteering. We have to play a game of give and take. In either situation we will get tired and burned out and not be able to live out a life for Christ and share our faith with others if we are not taking care of our overall wellbeing. We need an equal need of success in the workplace, a healthy body and mind, spiritual strength and nurishment, social interaction, and volunteer opportunites. The only way to accomplish this is by putting Christ into the center of our lives and praying for balance in our lives.

God's Enormity

I am currently reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and absolutely cannot put it down. It is so full of insight into how big and powerful our God is. Just in the first few chapters there is so much to take in, reflect on, and think twice about.

God created our entire universe, the earth, the galaxies, the land, the water, the skies, and He also created you and me. Can you even grasp the idea that the God that created the whole universe also created you? He is the One that loves you unconditionally and is always with you. It is really hard to take in and comprehend, but once you do, you'll look at God radically different.

In our relationship with the creator of the universe, why do we always ask Him to speak to us? Rather we should sit patiently in awe of His divine creation and worship His works.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work or his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. Psalm 19:1-4

When He created the world, He also decided that you would one day walk this earth, proclaiming His love, and doing His work. He knew millions of years ago how your life would be lived.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart;

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

God sought you out and marked you as His. He had a plan for your life from the beginning of time. He wanted you to live a life proclaiming His son as the one who came to earth to save us from our sins. He is the great and mighty One. The Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Revelation 22:13 You are here with a purpose to live a life for Him and spread the works of His son. In everything you do, worship Him and He will lead you to a path of righteousness and a complete and fulfilling life.

Our Generation is Worth Nothing

There is an overwhelming stigma in our society regarding our generation. Many people believe that young people today are consumed by technology, social medias, and have no fear of our actions. Many older adults see us just as crazy kids, having no goals for our lives, and incapable of making our world a better place. While there is some truth to this, I believe they are not seeing the whole picture.

The media plays a major role in how the world sees us and they report mainly on how there are some young people that make mistakes from time to time. What they don't show are the many young people that truly are trying to make a difference in our society. It can be seen in the young lives being lived out for Jesus Christ. All across our country and the world, our generation is gathering to worship, learn, transform the lives of others, and give back. It is this that gives us hope for a bright future.

There is one piece of scripture that comes to mind in all of this. Something that gives our generation and all young people a reason to continue helping to change the lives of our peers.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given to you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

1 Timothy 4:12-14

When I first heard this, I was astounded and in awe of God's love and compassion for young people. It reminds us all that our generation lives in this lifetime for a specific purpose and we truly can make a difference. We have to put our focus on Him though and live out a life that serves Him. We have to "set an example" for our peers and all of society. In doing so, God will use you for His marvelous works. I've seen it first-hand through many young people and even through me. Don't let anyone tell you that our generation is worth nothing or that we can't make a difference because with God you can do anything.

We were all put on this earth with specific gifts and talents. There will be some people who will become teachers or pastors, some who will become doctors or lawyers, some who will become famous inventors or musicians. We were all created differently and will leave a mark on the world in different ways, but when we come together in the light of our Lord amazing things will happen. Lets change how society thinks of us and reach out our hand to our peers that desperately need unconditional love and salvation.

2010

It is 2010 and I have made a resolution to start a blog. So here I go with a new adventure. To start off here is a list of my other resolutions for this year!

Grow a stronger relationship with Jesus Christ

Go to the gym on a more consistent basis

Train to run a 5k

Finish my year Bible reading plan that I started in August 2009

Pass my teaching certification tests and complete my student teaching

Impact a child's life

Read some of the many books I have bought including: Crazy Love by Francis Chan, Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, The Complete Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer, True Colors by Kristin Hannah, The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks, The Next Thing on My List by Jill Smolinski, Completely His by Shannon Ethridge, Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom, Vision in White by Nora Roberts, Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay, and Second Chance by Jane Green

Volunteer for Beach Retreat 2010

Learn to play 5 new songs on the piano

Be a better Sweet Adeline performer by rehearsing 4 days a week

Take a vacation to somewhere I have not been before

Grow in my leadership positions