When the Enemy Attacks

Summer is officially here and whether I think I am ready or not, I am about to embark on a journey that God has been preparing me for. Over the past month and a half I have kept busy substitute teaching, leading my small group, serving on leadership in our ministry, and preparing my heart and mind for a mission trip Honduras and Beach Retreat. I have experienced some amazing joy, as well as several struggles, big and small.



The enemy prowls and attacks right at times when God is working the most in my life. The enemy tries to keep me from achieving what God has for me and brings me down with fear and doubt. The enemy brings up things from my past that continue to haunt me and make me feel insecure in myself and in my relationship with Him.


I have been attacked time and time again. I was stricken with fear and doubt over a past relationship that I never should have been in. I was told I would never be good enough and I started to believe it again. I spent days feeling like I didn’t belong, like no one loved me, like I was all alone again. I knew God was there with me, but the enemy didn’t want to let me go.

The Lord is my light and my salvation so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. The one thing I ask of the Lord, the thing I seek most, is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of job, singing and praising the Lord with music.

Psalm 27:1-7

God reached out His hand and pulled me out. He sent me the support of friends that lifted me up, encouraged me, and reminded me of what He has done in my life and how He is using me in ministry. My joy could not be taken away from the attack of the enemy. I had to trust that my God was bigger than my past and all my fears and insecurities. I had to close the door, be still, and let God fight for me (Ex 14:14).


This summer God has an amazing mission for me that has been planned since He created the world. He appointed me for great things. This summer I will be stretched in insurmountable ways and taken out of my comfort zone so that the only one I can rely on is Him. I know that God will change lives during this time, but I can’t even begin to fathom how He will change my life this summer.

My Confidence Is Not My Own

But thank God! He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God…..Are we beginning to praise ourselves again? Are we like others, who need to bring you letters of recommendation, or who ask you to write such letters on their behalf? Surely not! The only letter of recommendation we need is you yourselves. Your lives are a letter written in our hearts; everyone can read it and recognize our good work among you. Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts. We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit. The old written covenant ends in death; but under the new covenant, the Spirit gives life.
2 Corinthians 2:14-15, 3:1-6

Confidence is a funny thing…. Many women struggle with being confident in themselves, myself included. It is a daily challenge for women everywhere to know that we are loved, valued, and beautiful just the way God made us. We have self-doubt and insecurities, but have to know wholeheartedly that our confidence comes from Christ alone.


In the last two months, God has literally taken my life and stretched it far beyond what I thought would ever be possible. He has placed me in situations that are completely uncomfortable. Again, in these times I have to remind myself that God doesn’t call us to be comfortable.


God has called me to begin leading a women’s small group which caught me way off guard. It has been such a blessing though and I am learning and growing more and more each week. But it didn’t just stop there. At the end of June I will be going on my very first mission trip….Honduras to be exact. God didn’t just say go to San Antonio and make my name know, but He said go to a foreign country in Latin America and show them the love of Christ. My first thoughts were “who am I to do this” and “why me.” I questioned my ability to minister to others with just my beginning knowledge of the Bible and I felt nowhere near confident to take on such an opportunity. However I find myself preparing for a journey far beyond my imagination, to a place far away, where most people speak a language I don’t know at all.

God gave me the confidence and courage from scripture, but He also gave me friends to encourage me, build me up, and show me that I was made to bring others to Him. I was reminded that it is by the spirit that I have full confidence and ability to share Christ with others. I am also fully qualified because I am a child of God and Christ is written on my heart. The thought of having to get up in front of a group of people and give my testimony, act out a skit, or lead a devotional at a moment’s notice scares me beyond belief, but I know now that it will be a time where I have no choice but to put my complete faith and trust in Him to speak through me.

Just recently I was challenged to think of Philippians 4:13 in a different way. Instead of just thinking “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” think of it as “I can do nothing without Christ who strengthens me.” I have to rely solely on Him in everything I do, now more than ever. I have completely seen Him in a new light and am so excited to see how He will use me this summer in Honduras. I might not be able to see the full results of my work there, but I know that God has chosen me for a specific reason to minister to people there that no one else can minister to. I’m looking forward to my week-long experience and what God will teach me while I am there.

Breaking Free

I have always been more on the quite side. A little shy and slow to show my true self. I’m reminded of situations in life where people have disappointed me, left me, or said hurtful things and my fears overwhelm me. I feel insecure of my friendships, opening up to people and showing my true self. But God is always faithful and is pushing me in new directions and breaking down the walls I have built up for myself.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

1 Corinthians 13:12

He knows me completely: all my fears, all my failures, all my desires, everything I have done, and everything I will do. He gives me piece of mind and is pushing me to break free of my comfort zone. In the past, I have been afraid to truly opening up to the people He has placed in my life, letting people help me, and sharing my triumphs and struggles with others. I like to be a people pleaser, making sure I do nothing wrong and never wanting to let people down. I am overcoming and realizing I can’t do it alone. I can’t do it without God, but more importantly I can’t do it without the support of my sisters and brothers in Christ.

I truly believe that God has placed certain people in my life that will mentor me, grow me, push me, challenge me, and love me just for who I am. It took me awhile to figure it out, but now I see what I was missing. I feel the weight lifted off that I have been carrying around and I feel free to just be me.

“God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.”

Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Over the last few weeks I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone, been placed in situations that challenge me, and been given opportunities that I have previously thought were beyond my capabilities. I literally sat in my car last week before making a bold move, praying “Lord, You commanded me to be strong and courageous. Don’t let me be afraid! You are with me now and always!” He delivered and I broke down a barrier.

Every day I see my spiritual gift of teaching becoming stronger and stronger. People see my talent for working with children and teaching and it truly amazes me how they see that in me. I am reminded that each and every person is given a different gift and we have to come together to make a complete body of Christ. With one person missing, we cannot excel in building up the church for what God has planned.

I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life. People that will push me, challenge me, grow me, walk alongside me, and encourage me. With God all things are possible, but He works in marvelous ways through our friendships and fellowship with others. I am free to be me, free of my fears, free of my insecurities.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subjected again to a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

I am not ashamed!!!!

Spiritual Running

Since I was in elementary school, I have always hated running. I remember so vividly our PE teacher, Mrs. Meyer saying “Today we will be running outside and you have to get your 5 Popsicle sticks.” We would have to run around a very large grass area right outside our school and each time we went around we would pick up a Popsicle stick to show how many laps we had completed. I dreaded these days because I was a horrible runner. In junior high, it was even worse. Now we had a large park to run around 5 times, although we didn’t have to pick up the Popsicle sticks anymore. Those 5 laps seemed so daunting, so miserable, and I had no way out of it.

Some might say I have a fear of running and would be shocked to know that I am running in the 5K Rodeo Run this Saturday. What started out as just wanting to work out more somehow became a passion and resolution for me to run a 5K this year. So I’ve been on the hunt, in pursuit of something that I have never done, but in the midst of it all I found out it’s not me that is really running. It’s not me that is hitting the pavement. It’s not me running the distance to say I finished a 5K.

This past week on my way to the gym to run, I was given a challenge to memorize 1 Cor 9:24-27 from a friend. I knew right away that God had placed this on my heart to do and I agreed to the challenge not even knowing what the verse said. That morning I ran but I had no purpose and no drive for what I was running for. All I wanted to do was just be able to finish it.

Immediately when I got home I opened my Bible to 1 Cor 9:24-27 and stopped dead in my tracks…..

“Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win. All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”

I felt God just pick me up and start to shake me, saying “Hello, run after me! You can do anything with me! Trust me! Grow with me!” I was instantly taken aback and knew it had nothing to do with running the distance or for a time. It’s all about running after Him and building endurance. I need to be constantly pursuing Him, communicating with Him, and growing in Him. I need to be more disciplined in my everyday life to continue in my growth and in this journey set out before me.

Since then, every day I run is a special time just between me and God. He gives me strength, endurance and courage and I continually run to seek Him in everything I do. I run with a new purpose for His eternal prize before someone or something can take it away from me.

"Awakening" - Chris Tomlin - Passion 2010

This is the most powerful song I have ever heard. When I first heard it I cried out to my Father to awaken my soul! For the last few weeks, God has grabbed a hold of my heart in a new way and my heart aches for His will to be done in my life. I have been meditating over Psalm 63:3 which says "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you." Many people go through their Christian walks thinking they know God, but never truly experience an authentic relationship with Him and understand His complete and unconditional love. What are you waiting for? He has so much more planned for you if you just give your WHOLE life over to Him and seek an everlasting relationship with Him.

1 John 1:1-4 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.

Time is a Gift from God

There are 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, and 52 weeks in a year. It might seem like a long time, but in reality it goes by in a flash. Today especially, we consume our lives with so many activities and obligations that can sometimes take over our lives. It is important to take a step back and question whether our time is being used in the best way.

We all have goals that we set out to achieve each day, but many times they don't get accomplished. It is hard to prioritize everything for our day between our work, school, church and social activies, quiet times and bible reading, and our own personal down time. Do you seem to start something but then get distracted by something else? Do you find yourself being consumed by all the technology we have today? Everyone is guility of this at sometime or another and some more than others. The key is to remember that our time on this earth is precious, God-given and we must find a place of balance.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don't follow the traditions they received from us. For you know that you ought to imitate us. We were not idle when we were with you. We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so we would not be a burden to any of you. We certainly had the right to ask you to feed us, but we wanted to give you an example to follow. Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: "Those unwilling to work will not get to eat."

2 Thessalonians 3:6-10

The Bible says explicitily to not live idle lives and to work hard day and night. We cannot live out a life of stress or unambition. We have to actively seek the Lord in finding a happy medium in all of our activites. We have many obligations to our work, school, families, churches, and ourselves. We simply cannot work 60 hours in a week nor can we spend that same 60 hours volunteering. We have to play a game of give and take. In either situation we will get tired and burned out and not be able to live out a life for Christ and share our faith with others if we are not taking care of our overall wellbeing. We need an equal need of success in the workplace, a healthy body and mind, spiritual strength and nurishment, social interaction, and volunteer opportunites. The only way to accomplish this is by putting Christ into the center of our lives and praying for balance in our lives.